SET Therapeutic Approach Overview

Surfing Emotions Therapy (SET) 

SET is a unique, evidence-informed therapeutic method grounded in neuroscience, mindfulness, cognitive-behavioral principles, and embodied emotional regulation. Developed over the course of thousands of clinical sessions, the approach teaches clients to ride the “waves” of their emotions—skillfully, intentionally, and with increasing levels of self-mastery—rather than becoming overwhelmed, reactive, or avoidant.

SET integrates key concepts, tools, and practical exercises into a cohesive model that is both memorable and highly applicable in everyday life.

History and Development

Surfing Emotions Therapy emerged from over a decade of clinical work with thousands of clients. Throughout this work, I tracked the tools, concepts, and interventions that consistently produced positive change—particularly those supported by neuroscience and evidence-based practice. Over time, these elements naturally began to converge into a unified method that reflected the metaphor of surfing: emotions rise, crest, and fall, and with skill and understanding, anyone can learn to ride them.

During the last four years, I refined this method through iterative clinical practice and through an internal study assessing its effectiveness. Pre- and post-treatment assessments showed significant improvements in symptoms of anxiety and depression after only three months, demonstrating promising early results for the model’s clinical impact.

In the process of development, concepts such as ego, self-concept, and radical acceptance were operationalized through the lens of neuroscience—particularly how neural pathways encode our beliefs, expectations, and habitual responses. These concepts fit naturally into the Surfing Emotions framework and were adapted in ways that make their application within SET distinct from their use in other modalities.

To support client practice, I developed a curriculum that includes readings, worksheets, reflective exercises, and structured practices. This curriculum forms a flexible workbook that can be individualized for each client’s needs and goals.

Theoretical Foundations

Surfing Emotions Therapy is built on three primary foundations:

1. Evidence-Based Psychological Approaches

The model synthesizes core elements of:

• mindfulness-based interventions 
• cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT)
• third-wave therapies such as ACT and DBT
• self-compassion and radical acceptance practices
   

The Surfing Emotions model translates these principles into concrete steps aligned with the metaphor of surfing, making them accessible, memorable, and actionable.

2. Neuroscience and Embodiment

SET is deeply informed by:

• neuroplasticity—the brain’s capacity to strengthen pathways through practice
• reward-based learning—how habits, emotional reactions, and behavioral patterns become conditioned
• embodied emotional processing—how emotions arise, are stored, and are released through the body
   

A core emphasis is on acknowledging, feeling, and allowing emotions and bodily sensations, while using grounding and relaxation tools to support the nervous system’s natural capacity to regulate.

3. Constructed Emotion Theory and Cognitive Interpretation

New research shows that emotions are:

• not fixed or factual
• shaped by language, awareness, and interpretation
• highly malleable through reflection and practice
   

Surfing Emotions Therapy uses these insights to help clients reinterpret emotional signals and reshape patterns that once felt automatic and uncontrollable.

Use With Clients

Surfing Emotions Therapy is designed for clients who struggle with:

• emotional overwhelm
• anxiety and depression
• trauma responses
• relationship and communication difficulties
• habitual reactive patterns
• inner criticism and perfectionism
• chronic avoidance or shutdown
   

The model helps clients:

• understand emotions as signals, not threats
• distinguish between connecting with emotions versus reacting to them
• cultivate the ability to pause, observe, and choose rather than act automatically
• strengthen intentional responses (the “surfer”) over conditioned reactions (the “storm”)
• ground themselves through breathwork, relaxation, and embodied awareness 
• shift unhelpful reward loops and cognitive distortions
• develop an accepting, compassionate internal stance
   

Core Concepts

Several principles make Surfing Emotions Therapy (SET) distinct, memorable, and practical:

Emotions as Waves: Emotions move in physiological arcs—they rise, peak, and fall. SET teaches people to ride the wave instead of resisting it, feeding it, or trying to eliminate it.

Automatic vs. Intentional: Much of human experience is driven by automatic systems—the amygdala, the nervous system, and deeply conditioned patterns. Intentional responses are smaller, but trainable. SET helps clients build the skills to stay steady during intense activation and choose responses that serve them.

The Surfboard as Separation: In the Surfing Emotions model, the surfboard represents the space that makes choice possible—the separation between:

• Emotion vs. Situation: what you feel vs. what’s actually happening
• Emotion vs. Story: what you feel vs. how you interpret it
• Automatic vs. Intentional: impulse-driven reaction vs. values-based response

In short: the surfboard is the gap where you can steady yourself, widen perspective, and choose your next move—while the wave is still present.

Ego as a Learned Program: In SET, the “ego” isn’t a flaw—it’s a learned performance program built from comparison, judgment, expectations, and pressure to be “better.” Radical acceptance is the antidote: it softens the inner critic and reconnects clients to intrinsic worth and clarity.

One Unified Mechanism for Regulation: When emotion surges, the nervous system defaults to resistance (brace, fight, fix, avoid). Resistance often amplifies distress. SET teaches one integrated sequence: acknowledge → label → accept → self-distance. These aren’t separate tricks—they function as one mechanism that helps emotions move through naturally, instead of becoming a prolonged struggle.

Tools and Methods

Surfing Emotions Therapy includes a structured sequence of tools that correspond to stages of the surfing metaphor:

1. Preparing the Mind (Mindfulness & Self-Distancing)

Clients learn to:

• step back from thoughts
• observe internal experience 
• shift from reactive to intentional processing
   

2. Getting on the Surfboard (Acceptance & Grounding)

This includes:

• radical acceptance as both tool and mindset
• grounding techniques
• relaxation and somatic settling
• emotional acknowledgment and embodied presence
   

3. Riding the Wave (Cognitive & Behavioral Tools)

Clients practice:

• responding rather than reacting
• identifying distortions
• reframing thoughts
• choosing aligned, valued behaviors
   

4. Reshaping Patterns (Neuroplasticity & Habit Change)

The model guides clients in:

• replacing old pathways with new conditioning
• shifting reward-based learning loops
• reinforcing adaptive emotional patterns through practice
   

5. Integration and Self-Mastery

The ultimate goal of SET is self-mastery—the ability to stay grounded, intentional, and aligned with one’s values even in the midst of intense emotion.

A Model for Daily Living

Throughout this book, I refer to Surfing Emotions Therapy as the Surfing Emotions model because it functions as both a therapeutic method and an everyday guide. It provides direction in any moment—how to stand, how to balance, and how to ride the emotional waves of daily life. Its purpose is to help individuals grow emotionally, strengthen self-regulation, cultivate intrinsic worth, and become the person they want to become.

Therapy  services provided by Daniel H. Ringhoff, Licensed Clinical Social  Worker (LCSW). Florida License SW9542 • California License LCSW 124651. 

Florida and California residents located in these states only.